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As a result, you can likely get away with doing things the ‘old way’ because you haven’t got texts, emails, dating sites, keeping it casual and all that jazz to deal with.In fact, if you’ve been on 0-3 dates, you can call that ‘pursuing’ but after that, it’s time to step up especially once you’ve slept together.It’s not enough for us to show up – be careful of overvaluing your contribution.It’s important for us to be equal in our interactions because if we don’t, we end up participating in setting the scene of them having it on their terms…and then complaining about it. It’s not about someone coming along and you dignifying them with the opportunity to chase you and meet your needs.When you’re involved with a driver, they may let your call go to voicemail and respond with a text, leave it for a few days, or be short with you when you speak. Or they might tell you that they’re really busy and they’ll call you on whatever day.Next thing you know, they’re in charge of the contact.You will know if you’re in mutually fulfilling relationship if you can call and initiate plans without restrictions.
You won’t do casual and you may even take your time before you sleep with them.
Recently a friend expressed her fury that the guy she’d been seeing for a few weeks didn’t call her for a week.
She’d spent the entire week being hijacked by her imagination and agonising. As you can imagine, I read a hell of a lot of emails and comments from readers, as well as observing relationships and listening to a lot of frustrations.
If you’ve nodded your head in agreement as you read this, you’re right to have these concerns, but some of you that are agreeing may actually be doing exactly what you’re concerned about.
If you’re a woman that doesn’t ‘do’ initiating contact or plans and often finds herself in relationships that are on the other person’s terms where they get to dictate the pace and the frequency of contact and interaction, what you’ve just read is exactly how you may come across.