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Most couples simply stand by and allow the spark of their relationship to fizzle out in time, partly because they believe there's nothing to be done.

But with the right actions and added awareness, both partners can rekindle the romantic fire so that it burns more strongly than even in the beginning. Full on, all-night, torrid, romance novel-style action. It's very easy to look at other couples and yearn for what they have.

I'm saying, you don't have to do anything differently if you don't want.

But if you feel like it hasn't been working and you're wondering why you haven't met Mr. It's less about what you wear or do on a date than it is about having healthier standards.

In fact, I'd been going about being single all wrong.

When I started seeing my husband, aka the first guy I wasn't embarrassed to tell my therapist about, I was gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn't known about dating before then.

Maybe he's not smooth initially or in big groups, but he is one-on-one.

You can fall in love with a guy who wrote that he likes Madonna, but you can't fall in love with a guy who isn't kind."5. Gottlieb: "In cities where you find a lot of really ambitious, Type A, driven people, like in NYC and L. Whether it's with men or sweaters…if you just think you have unlimited options for the rest of your life, of course you'll keep looking, who wouldn't? Women gave me 300 reasons they wouldn't go on a second date with a guy, and men gave 3. More Ways to Get Glamour You could win ,000 just for registering for or logging in to Glamour.com! When guys are ready for that stage of life, they find someone who is good enough that they're totally in love with—but that person may not seem to the outside world to be as appealing in superficial ways—maybe she's not as accomplished or funny as the last girl. Guys don't sit and micro-analyze a woman the way a woman would with a man. Gottlieb: "With online dating, we judge based on objective criteria (height, sports nut), rather than subjective (attraction), which you can't judge until you meet the person. Sign up for Glamour.com's Style Tips of the Week and Beauty Tip of the Day newsletters! These guys are all around you but you're not giving them a chance. We feel entitled.*Gottlieb: "Women try to be good friends to each other. He said, what you think of as quirky, endearing, and cute, is really annoying to someone else. You find something great, but you wonder if there's something better out there, so you keep searching.But he would love you so much that he would overlook that. In the end, after three more weeks of searching for the perfect sweater—was it so much better than the one you could have bought originally? Gottlieb: "The guys I interviewed for the book said women judge them so much.

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I didn't have very much fun at it, which is depressing since I didn't pair up until my 30s.

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