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Pride doesn’t help in times like this, it only hurts.The thing is, just sticking around doesn’t mean you’re a better person.As unromantic as it is to say this – and I’ll get in trouble with the Dating Advice Giver’s Union for saying it – sometimes shit happens and we realize we’re no longer into our partners as much as we once were.People and relationships grow and change over time and that spark may vanish. Other times those changes mean that we’re no longer compatible, sexually or romantically.

because they can’t manage to convince themselves that they need to.

Sure, every once in a while you’ll run into a thundering assbeast who casts people aside like used Kleenex, but However necessary the break up may be, years of experience and pop culture have taught us that the person doing the dumping is the bad guy.

They’re the ones who aren’t invested enough, who break promises, who don’t care enough to make it work or aren’t strong enough to make it through the rough patches.

Every visit, I’d leave not sure if I wanted to be with this person but as soon as I’d come home loneliness and nostalgia set in and suddenly I’m thinking “Well, it’s probably not as bad as all that. As much as I’m a non-confrontational person, I’ve tried to do some prodding about these issues, and I’ve been met with firm resistance. I don’t enjoy our time together in person, but maybe I just need to get used to it? Staying with her is easier, and safer, and better (so I tell myself). If I break things off now, I will have been wasting her time, for years.

I can deal with this.” Even though I KNOW THIS IS TOTALLY INSANE. She does NOT think she should have to change for my sake. There’s still that person I’ve been talking to on the internet, right? She’ll feel betrayed, furious, devastated, and the thought of that makes me feel physically ill.

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