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There’s a built-in asymmetry which, to my intuition as a psychology, would explain why you get more men than women joining the sites.

But though men dominate online dating overall, a profile of specific dating sites gives a more nuanced picture.

But while she acknowledges that online dating can turn scary, she encourages women to counteract the nastiness—whether through exposure, humor, or other means—without taking the whole thing too seriously.

“These are the same people that go on racist tirades on You Tube videos about kittens,” she says. You have to recognize that people are often saying those things out of self-hatred.

But just 15% of the 35 million hacked records released in August belonged to women, and it was found that the adulterous dating website had created 70,000 bots to impersonate women and send messages to men on the site.

Meanwhile, a 2015 study of the 91 million people who use location-based digital matchmaking apps, such as Tinder and Hinge, found that 62% of users are men.

Prior to the July hack, the adulterous dating website claimed that 30% of its clients were female. At least, as far as one can tell from Tinder: He was a coffee-loving “urban adventurer” from the Midwest and an entrepreneur who walked dogs on the side. So when Nathan (not his real name) matched with Alexandra Tweten, a 28-year-old woman living in Los Angeles, she was eager to start chatting. “It could have been my exact profile,” says Tweten. In his free time, he could be found digging through all the right vinyl genres: indie rock, shoegaze, electronic, and new age.It’s now almost practically expected: Online dating can turn very weird very quickly.“I think of it as a continuation of the harassment that women see every day in public and on the streets,” says Tweten. It’s just more easily documented online.”Disgusted by her own experience and others, Tweten began collecting these stories–told in the screenshots of online chats gone awry–under an Instagram account called Bye Felipe.A gender-flipped play on the dismissive Internet-popular phrase “Bye Felicia,” the account–like Tinder Nightmares and others–operates as a curated clearing house of screenshots showcasing the very worst of online dating weirdness, from sudden hostility to unwanted dick picks.

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Andrew Colman, professor of psychology at the University of Leicester, told Quartz that this dynamic fits with conventional gender roles, explaining: Even in these relatively progressive times it still seems to be an unspoken convention that it’s up to men to ask for a date and women to agree or refuse.

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