Dating wifes best friend after divorce

There's no reason why you can't stay pals with a friend's or family member's ex, but the social etiquette can get thorny.

Whereas before, you'd hang out with your sister-in-law at family functions, now it's better to plan a girls' night out for just the two of you—away from your brother and other family members.

The easiest way to provide support is to take your cues from her: If she wants to just spend time with you without talking about her ex, do that.

If she needs a few late-night sessions to vent and work through her grief, be there for her.

There's no denying that divorce is hardest on the couple and their children.

But its effects can ripple out into the splitting spouses' social spheres as well, often causing disruptions when friends and family members aren't sure about what they should say or do when it comes to interacting with the now-split couple. "A lot has to do with our own emotional reaction to a close friend or family member's divorce," says Margot Swann, founder and director of Visions Anew, a nonprofit divorce resource for woman.

You may find that your friend is in tighter financial straits immediately after her divorce, particularly if she was a stay-at-home mom during the marriage, or has had to move because she could no longer afford the mortgage.

"She needs your support and friendship more than anything else," says Swann.Reassure them that their parents still love them, and that the divorce is absolutely, positively not their fault (often a child's biggest fear or suspicion).But resist trying to answer specific questions about "what happened." The truth is that you don't know the details.If there are group outings that you know she would love to go to—like dinner with a group of your girlfriends—"offer to pick up the tab now and then," says Swann."You don't want her to feel isolated right now." Family friends are getting a divorce and all the kids involved have a lot of questions about it.

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