GONG SHOW An excerpt from The Gong Show (reenacted). We watch a fat man recite Hamlet, punctuating his soliloquy with loud belching noises.

The cab driver waits, listens to staticky reports in a foreign language on his radio.

Andrews, the assistant manager, requested that I -- BARRIS Still?

The bellhop glances at Barris's bare ass, looks away. Barris, maybe if you just don't watch the show every night, you wouldn't have to -- BARRIS I always pay for the damn tv's, don't I? BELLHOP It's -- Yes, you do, sir, and we appreciate that -- It's just that there've been complaints from some of the other guests, and Mr. And while we want to accommodate you -- we certainly value your patronage -- there is an issue of customer safety.

The naked Barris approaches the bellhop, drapes his arm over the young man's shoulder and walks with him. CONTINUED: (2) BARRIS (conspiratorially) You know what I'd do? I'd rub Alpo brand dog food on my dick so the dogs would stick their noses into my...

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there is no life of a man, faithfully recorded, but is a heroic poem of its sort, rhymed or unrhymed." I realized my salvation might be in recording my wasted life, unflinchingly.

In addition, I have murdered thirty-three human beings.

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The young man gets out, jogs through the rain toward the fluorescent storefront. GONG SHOW Chuck Barris spastically dances on the screen along with Gene Gene the Dancing Machine.

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